THE FUNNIEST EVER

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Wolper 'Amchamba' Harmorapa

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/NkGTHGd6tEA/hqdefault.jpg

STAA wa fi lamu za Kibongo, Jacqueline Wolper ameeleza kukerwa na mwanamuziki chipukizi, Athuman Omary ‘Harmorapa’ aliyesema amewahi kutoka naye kimapenzi jambo ambalo siyo kweli.


Akichonga na Mikito Nusunusu Wolper alisema mwanamuziki huyo ambaye ameimba kwenye wimbo wake wa Kiboko ya Mabishoo kuwa ameshatoka naye kimapenzi amemkosea heshima na hata alivyousikia wimbo huo umemshangaza kwa sababu hata Harmorapa mwenyewe anamuona kwenye mitandao ya kijamii na magazetini tu hajawahi kumuona ‘live’.


“Jamani huku ni kukoseana heshima maana huyo Harmorapa hata simfahamu huwa namuona kwenye mitandao na magazetini tu, sasa alivyoimba ametoka na mimi kimapenzi naona kama ni kituko kikubwa sana,” alisema Wolper.
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Friday, January 6, 2017

HADITHI FUPI


  Mwanaume mmoja aliwatongoza wanawake watatu tofauti na nia yake ni kufanya upembuzi yakinifu ili mmoja wao awe mkewe. Hivyo jamaa aliamua kuwapa jaribio kwa kuwapa Tsh. 500,000/= kila mmoja huku akitaka kujua ni namna gani watazitumia.Mwanamke wa kwanza alitumia pesa yote kununua vipodozi. Alitembelea duka la vipodozi na urembo akajikwatua sawa sawa! Alivyorudi kwa mchumba wake akamwambia,"nimeamua kutumia pesa yote kwa ajili ya kujipamba ili nizidi kukupendezamachoni pako na kukuvutia maana nakupenda sana."Hakika yule mwanaume akapendezwa sana na mpenzi wake.Mwanamke wa pili alinunua zawadi kwa ajili ya bwana wake. Alinunua simu janja mpya kwa ajili ya bwana wake, saa ya kisasa, nguo na viatu vizuri. Alivyofika kwa bwana wake alimwambia,"pesa yote nimeitumia kununua hizi zawadi zako maana nina kupenda sana."Jamaa akafarijika sanaMwanamke wa tatu aliwekeza zile pesa kwenye soko la hisa na baada ya muda fulani alipata faida ya shilingi 2,000,000/=. Mwanamke yule aliamua kumrudishia bwana wake ile pesa aliyokuwa amepewa yaani laki 5 na pesa iliyokuwa imebakia alifungua akaunti ya pamoja na bwana wake. Kisha yule mwanamke akamwambia yule jamaa,"nahitaji kuwekeza na kuhifadhi kesho yetu kwa sababu nakupenda sana."Hakika yule mwanamke alimfurahisha sana jamaa.Jamaa akatafakari sana yale ambayo yalikuwa yamefanywa na wale wanawake baada ya kupewa laki 5. Lakini mwisho wa siku jamaa aliamua kumwoa mwanamke wa kwanza kwasababu anamakalio makubwa! Wanaume watabakia kuwa wanaume tu

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Monday, December 19, 2016

kupanga ni kuchagua fanikisha shughuli yako

kupanga ni kuchagua fanikisha shughuli yako

 




 

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Friday, December 5, 2014

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

TAMTHILIA YA MY ETERNAL (walang hanggan)

                         STORI ZILIVYO.

       WALANG HANGGAN,(my eternal)

The story begins in the region in Olivarez, where it exploits the love triangle between the first two generations between Virginia Cruz (Susan Roces) the self-sacrificing sister of Margaret C. Montenegro (Helen Gamboa) who also has jealousy in her heart for her sister due to her relationship with Joseph (Eddie Gutierrez) in there younger age Virginia also sacrificed her love and education which grew hard for her sister Margaret to understand there condition but many have witnessed a blossoming love between Marco (Richard Gomez) the son and heir of Margaret's business venture and also is to be engaged with Jane Bonefacio (Rita Avila) but Marco falls for a field workers daughter Emily Cardenas (Dawn Zulueta) but Marco and Emily's relationship is strained due to Margaret
unaccepting her because of her low-class standards but a sequence of events also spirals when Emily's father is suspected for a crime he did not commit and because of Emily's love for her father and because of Margaret's threats Emily takes life into her own hands and lands in prison while having Marco's unborn child in her womb she decides to live on without Marco but Marco is heartbroken with Emily turning back on him he marries Jane and then leave off to the U.S to start a new life. The latter now begins when the Alcantara's move in to the region of Olivarez, when William Alcantara (Joel Torre) and his children Katerina (Julia Montes) and Tomas (Joem Bascon) move into the neighborhood and William adopts a streetboy named Daniel (Coco Martin) although Daniel and his adoptive grandmother Virginia "Ate Henya" adopted him the two move into the mansion and Virginia becomes of household help but as they get older a friendship blossoms with the comeback of the Montenegro family with Marco's children Johanna (Melissa Ricks) and Nathan (Paulo Avelino). The story also furthers into the relationship between Katerina, and Daniel and the interfering of Johanna and Nathan begins. Meanwhile Emily comes home to vindicate what is rightfully hers, as she comes home she saves and rescues Daniel unknowingly Emily is on a quest of revenge on buying Margaret's shares but as she becomes successful with her plans identities, and also lives cross as sisters Virginia and Margaret are face to face with Virginia trying all her best to reveal Daniel's identity and Margaret trying to save her sons relationship with her kids and even her happy family life Virginia is at all odds and when she comes face to face with Marco and Emily relationships are all at odds when she tries to tell them the truth about Emily's child with Margaret's plans of trying to get the DNA test of Daniel's real identity the truth comes out but Emily is not all at ease with her new look as Emily Guidotti Marco still has feelings for her although shes a widow. And especially Jane's doubts on her marriage with Marco almost spiraling Margaret takes matters on her own hands as the sequence of events begin to spiral Emily is about to lose her business as her right hand man and also assistant Miguel (Nonie Buencamino) decides to steal all of the money from there company and get a loan from the Bonifacio bank which starts all there troubles and lands them in bankruptacy.

Na upande wa kwanza stori zilikuwa kama hivyo.kujua mengine tukutane next time.
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MITANDAO YA BONGO

  MATATIZO YA MITANDAO BONGO

                         WADAU KAZI KWENU


Napenda kuchukua nafasi hii kufikisha  machache ya muhimu niliyonayo.Leo napenda kuzungumzia matatizo ya vyombo vyetu vya mawasiliano  hasa katika mitandao ya simu.kumekuwa na matatizo mengi kwenye huduma mbalimbali na hofa zitolewazo na mitandao ya simu.Tatizo lakwanza sehemu nyingi zilizo nahuduma za simu{zamkononi}network bado ni ya chini mno kiasi kwamba huwa kuna ugumu wa kufaidika a huduma zote zitolewazo na mitandao hiyo.Pili ni tofauti kubwa za tozo zitolewazo kutoka mitandao hiyo.Tatu huduma hewa ambazo hutokea mara kwa mara kwa wateja.Nne kukosewa kwa majina sahihi ya wateja kwenye usajili,mfano Juma Shamte [Juma hante}. Na mwisho kwa leo ni huduma ambazo huwa kero kwa wateja,huduma ambazo uchangaywa kwen
ye huduma nyingine muhimu  ambazo usumbufu.
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Saturday, February 1, 2014

MAPENZI YA LEO

AKILI KATIKA MAPENZI

  1. Mpende yule anaye tambua machozi yako,na si yule anaye sababisha machozi.
  2. Mapenzi ya sasa si ya kuishi kwa wivu na mpenzio.
  3. jitahidi kumvumilia mpezio pale mnapo koseana ,wapenzi sikuizi ni wapenda amani,kukiwa na mikwaruzano tu basi nishida na mnaweza mkatengana kabisa.
  4. Ishi maisha yako na mpenzio kamwe usiige maisha ya wengine,hapa utajiepusha kuwa mtu usiye eleweka kwa mpenzio
  5. Jifunze kusahau mambo mabaya yanayo weza kuharibu mahusiano yenu
  6. jitahidi kumuonesha mwezio kuwa unampenda kwa moyo wote
  7. jitahidi kuficha makucha kwa mpenzio,ficha ubaya unao fanya juu yake 
  8. Jitahidi kuwa na ushirikiano na mwezio wakati wa shida na raha,hii uleta faraja kati yenu.
  9. Inapendeza kama utakuwa sababu ya furaha katika mapenzi yenu
  10. Unapo chunguza mienendo ya mpenzi wako jaribu kuwa makini asifahamu
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    MAKTABA YETU

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